RIP MJ...You will be missed.  Now please haunt Joe and LaToya and keep their asses OFF of the news.

Dear Real Housewives of ATL,
I am so glad you are blessed to have network syndication on BRAVO.  In real life your show should be on BET after Tiny&Toya or on CMT right before My Big Redneck wedding.

Dear Michelle Duggar,
How important are Kegel exercises to the preservation of your unborn children?

To Whitney Houston:
I hope you were nervous on GMA.  I know you think crack is whack-but it might have helped you sing better.  Can we talk about meth as an alternative?

Attention Ladies,

If you "accidentally" get pregnant, it's your own damn fault! You should know how to work a condom and how to pop a pill, so don't freak out on the guy because the condom broke. Learn how to take care of you, and stop trusting and expecting a guy to do it. You're the one who is really gonna be stuck with the consequences. Quit complaining and get a condom!

To all the Men that think they are worth something:
You probably are-but listen-us women who are worth that much or more are NOT down for the chase.  If you want to be chased, buy a damn puppy.  If you want to play games, find an intramural sports team near you.  Stop complaining that all the women smother you, are too demanding, are too needy, and THEN fix your damn lips to say that I don't show you that you ARE needed, don't give you ENOUGH attention, and you don't know if I AM interested because you don't see enough of me.  Find a puppy, a bobblehead, or some pussy-the mewing kind.  Take your fucking pick.