The Friends Inbox-The Strawberry Letter 9-8-09
Friends...(Strawberry letter can be found on the Steve Harvey Morning Show: http://www.steveharvey.com/strawberry23.php)
PLEASE speak on this strawberry letter!
Subject: She started it, I don�t know how to end it!
Good morning to the morning crew. I got an issue that my lady started & I now I don\'t know what to do. Basically, one day my lady ask me what was my sexual fantasy. As any man would say, to be with two women at one time was my response. That night she shows up at my place with a lady she met while out that evening; you can figure out the rest. After that act by her, I\'ve notice she has become more sexually free since then. she went from having a Menage a trois\' w/ me and other women every weekend to me getting off work and two of them in MY apartment waiting on me or already sexually interacting and asking me to join. Don\'t get me wrong, I\'m living a lot of dudes dream right now and my numbers have nearly double since this has been going on since 2007. Unfortunately, one of her lady friends that her and i was together with, we have been seeing each other more frequently without my lady\'s knowledge. Am I wrong for that? The problem for ME is this: I want to be with my lady and keep her friend on the side; however, my ONCE fantasy has been some what of a issue for me to let go of because of 3 reasons: physically I am receiving more than enough, but its tiring me out, mentally it\'s not challenging, therefore I know it\'s not good for me, & spirtually, I can\'t get to the Upper Room living this lavish, sexual lifestyle. Can you guys give me some feedback on how to handle this situation in a respectable fashion?
It doesn't matter who started it.If you want to end it, do so. Its not that complicated.Decide if you will be able to end the relationship with your main squeeze if she refuses to curtail her "new" (side-eyes) alternate lifestyle.Because that is what it may come down to, or she may dump you because you have been playing outside of the relationship. That inevitably always happens and I don't know why people who want to play in these waters don't realize that.Very few couples can maintain this sort of arrangement without someone getting hurt.
You need to be honest with her as to why you want to end these group sessions and also about how you have been seeing her "friend" on the side.Because what is done in the dark comes out in the light.Fess up and perhaps you can save yourself and the relationship. if it is even worth it at this point. I doubt that either of you will be able to get over your illicit behavior.You might want to let this ship sail. I am happy for your spiritual epiphany, but I am pretty darn sure you realized you could not get into THE UPPER ROOM with this sort of fuckery going on. Good day to you!
A.J.
Dear She started it,
I am speaking from experience, living the dream while fun is not a long lasting thing, your situation is a situation of convince. You think you are living the dream but in reality she is the one with all the benefits. She is bisexual and she now has someone that will except that she brings a woman home and not consider it cheating. When she is doing what she does before you get there that’s exactly what she is doing, cheating. If you are ready to get out it's going to be hard, and the temptations of what you are missing will call out to you for a long time, but it is better this way. Come home and sit down with her over a meal (dinner is best), tell her it is over and that you can no longer continue the relationship. She will say that she can change and blah blah blah (tears you must then say that you don't want her to change who she is for you, and that you have thought about this and prayed on it (you should pray on it) and tell her firmly that it's over. There will be curses directed at you and she will call you a punk and say a real man would not leave this situation. You need to repeat to the other girl as well because she is no better, in fact she is worse because she actively pursued a man she knew was in a relationship. Lastly and this is most important, you must have sex with these 2 women for the last time, but you will be tender but distant. You also must explain to them before and afterward that this changes nothing about how you feel. Then you must leave and let the regret sink in and go one through life laughing at men that brag on the one Menage' a trios they had.
Mr. Superstar
Well, there you have it Friend! You've had a rare opportunity to get the opinions of our very own in-house married couple.
What say you readers? To the comment section we go...
And to Mr. SHE STARTED IT: YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD!!
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