The Friend's Inbox-30+ and Experienced
Friends,
I have to give you mad love on the blog. After reading today's question I have to pose one of my own to represent for the men.
Mr. Superstar makes a point to say that this gentlemen probably has his stuff together. So, if that is true and if he did in fact want to bed the lady in question-would he be wrong for now leaving her alone because he didn't get any?
Would he be wrong for doing what he had to do to hit, quit, and fade quick?
If I'm talking to a girl within two days about the physical-that's what I want. At 32, all a 25 year old can do is benefit from my experience.
Sign me:
Friend of the Friends
Mr. Friendly,
First, thanks for the support! We appreciate it! Second, I have to agree with you. If the conversation turns sexual after only two days,the guy's intentions are pretty overt. And ladies, let's not pretend like we don't know this. When we choose to engage in the sexual banter we are also putting it out there that we are feeling some sexual attraction as well, so we can't be surprised or offended when that's the direction the relationship turns. You can't bake a pie, let him smell it, and then get upset if he wants a piece! So to the guys, yes, if the "relationship" isn't proceeding as expected, pack up your hot wheels and move to another playground. I am by no means a prude, and I also think the ladies should be able to flirt a little without expectations that we want to hop in the bed tonight. But to my emerging spinster, I'm going to agree with Mr. Friendly and warn all the ladies--don't put out the toys if you don't want people to play with them!
I do have to disagree on one point, though. If this 32-year-old really has himself that together, why is he out looking for a jumpoff instead of pursuing real relationships with grown women? And I don't want to hear about a man being a man or any generic, tacky stereotype. In order to fit my definition of having your stuff together, you need to be taking active steps to have it together in ALL areas of your life (sorry for the all caps Mr. Superstar!), not just in those areas that you feel like putting work into. If you are that together you shouldn't be running around town looking for 25-year-old tail. No, you're not wrong for wanting to "bed" the "lady." You're wrong for telling yourself that you are the real deal and have your stuff together when you're really just an older boy who might have a little more in the bank, but you're still just looking for a jumpoff. Find a grown woman who will motivate, inspire, and challenge you in more than just the bedroom! Or at least stop deluding yourself!
She
Dear Signed Me:
Thanks for the mad love, but why can't we have happy love sometimes? ;-)
I understand what you and Superstar are saying but I don't believe that just because someone is 32 he or she has their stuff together.We don't know anything about that man other than what the writer stated.That being said I will address your questions.
"...if he did in fact want to bed the lady in question-would he be wrong for now leaving her alone because he didn't get any?" He and she are wrong for not being mature enough to discuss what they want from each other.No one should make assumptions in a relationship, platonic or otherwise. If he were to leave her alone, he should have the balls to tell her why so there would be no question as to what he was there for and that he was discontinuing the communications because he didn't get it. The fact that this is totally unlikely to happen distresses me, but I can always hope that people are clear and honest.Keep it 100 as the young folks say!
Him not telling her or any other woman that he has one goal in mind is a disservice to both of them in my opinion.People are afraid of the truth, when they need to be afraid of the lies and ommissions.
"Would he be wrong for doing what he had to do to hit, quit, and fade quick?" In my opinion only if he wasn't truthful BEFORE he hit it.See previous statement.Since the" P" is free and falling out of the sky as Mr.Superstar insinuated he shouldn't have a problem picking up someone else to feed that need.
"If I'm talking to a girl within two days about the physical-that's what I want. I understand that, but not everyone..or I should say not every woman does get that.Talk might just be talk, I used to like a good and hot convo and nothing else. But I was crystal about not wanting anything else. At 32, all a 25 year old can do is benefit from my experience." That's an interesting statement. I hope this experience includes clarity.
A.J.
Dude,
I think that we have all made a lot of assumptions with 25 & Holding's submission. First of all, we know NOTHING about this dude's intentions, his life, and how together he really is. The only thing that I could deduce from her letter is that she was probably overthinking a situation that is not that complicated at all. So, to not further assume-I will just address YOUR questions.
Would he be wrong for leaving her alone? Nope. That's his personal prerogative and right as a free and law abiding American citizen. He does need to realize that she will need to know why he stopped talking to her and until he does he'll be an asshole, and after he does he'll still be an asshole-so as long as he's good with the title-I see no problems.
Wrong for hitting and quitting? Nope. Because in order to "hit" she had to also allow the hit-TING. If this was mutually agreed upon-no problem. If not-see the asshole title scenario above.
Now, I'm going to assume that you are 30+ by your "experience" statement. I suppose you are the type that assumes that age defines behavior and/or maturity. But then, I find it hard to believe that you put a statement together asking if it's okay for a man that has his "stuff" together to sleep with a chick and be wrong. Is this different from a man that DOESN'T have his stuff together.
I won't try to assume what kind of experience you are offering here, but just like women may be easy in YOUR opinion to come across...Good dyck is a dime a dozen. You may be experienced, but that doesn't mean you are any good.
Most people that have had sex, like sex. In both cases, if you are just grown enough to be GROWN-none of these issues really matter.
Write back and let me know what the next 25-year old says about the benefits of your experience. I bet your prospects got MAD LOVE for you too-but not in a good way. And even if they do-don't ever say that out loud. Chances are the chick will NOT be curious about your experience-she'll think you're an arrogant idiot...like I do.
Moni
Wow. Small minded and overinflated ego huh sir? So there is NOTHING you can learn from a young woman in their mid 20s? You just have all your stuff together? All experience is not worth sharing either.
32 year old male, 25 year old women....hhmm that makes you pretty much equals. Humble yourself my dude because while some believe there is a shortage of good men, the good women may not put you in that category.
As far as hit it and quit it, let's be adults about it. If he is interested in merely sex, say that. No need to play games, lead people on or act like there could be more than just sex. And who knows, you may end up with a new playmate.
ItsJayRabBaby
Well FRIEND, YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD. Anything else you'd like to know?
Anybody else have any comments or suggestions for Mr. Experienced? Leave a comment if you'd like!! Let us know what you think!
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