The Friend's Inbox-The Green-Eyed Monster
From the Friend's Inbox-9/11/2009:
You only have 2 years invested in this.I don't believe your friend will change anytime soon so I suggest you change your friend.Meaning, find someone else to pal around with.When you tell Complexion Conflict that you no longer want to associate with her, tell her why very clearly and concisely.You might also suggest that she get some professional help for her issue.
If you do not wish to end the relationship, let her know in no uncertain terms is she to try and discuss these color/female issues real or otherwise with you.
A.J.
Dear Green-Eyed Monster:
As a woman of mixed race-I have to tell you that the reason women give you dirty looks is because your simpleness seethes through your soul. If there is a group of women that are nice to everybody but YOU, it's probably NOT THEM unless they all have the power to read each other's thoughts. Honey-it's YOU. If all you can talk about is your skin color-chances are the only person that has a REAL problem with your skin color is YOU.
I have met more than one woman of mixed heritage who has a hard time relating to one or more side over the other. As a woman of mixed race-you probably HAVE been subjected to a different type of discrimination and racism. It's often hard to answer questions about WHY your parents got married, HOW they met, or HOW you came to be. It's also hard to have people treat you one way and then learn that you are a certain race and treat you differently. But honey-all of this happens way before you are about 16, so you have had ample time to let it go.
I am Korean and Black. I'm not any more Korean than I am black, but when people look at me-they see I am a woman of color. If you can't stand behind that proudly and wear it well-stop being threatened by the women that do. They don't care enough about YOU to care about what you look like, how pretty you are or aren't. It's what's inside of you that shines through. The only things we can recognize in other people are the things we recognize in ourselves. So these women don't hate you because you are a light skin sister. YOU HATE YOU. You are a woman of mixed race, and being a woman of color-you should definitely be a symbol of pride and strength. Stop trying to figure out why the rest of us don't care about you and using it as attention whore tactic, and figure out what it is that YOU love about YOU. If you can't-try to identify with your other side. There are plenty of strong-minded, beautiful, self-assured, independent, fabulous, amazing black woman. We'd only be losing 1/2-so no big loss. Do you.
And to the friend, Birds of a feather flock together...let this bird fly alone.
Moni
I have a saying “ if you want to find the angriest black person I the room, find the lightest one”. The reason your friend doesn’t like dark skinned girls is because when she was a kid they picked on her because “ she thought she was all that” and most likely all the boys did pick her over the darker women. She has a problem with them because she doesn’t like black women and in saying that she doesn’t like half of herself. Some people when they can’t deal with a thing they imagine that they are better than it, that way they don’t have to deal with it. Women are the cattiest things on earth and that always amazes me because there is an animal called a cat that doesn’t act las bad as some women do. Biracial people in general have an issue with one or more of the races they make up, because they sometimes are not fully accepted into them. It makes them always feel like an outsider. If you want to help your friend and remain friends with her you need to talk to her about her issue. The green eyed monster needs to be told if shes having the same problem with every dark skinned women she meets then the simple fact is , they don’t have a problem she does. Same goes for you skinny chicks talking about big girls, just cause you got dirt slammed by the husky chick in 3rd grade for popping shit., does not mean they hating on you.
Mr. Superstar
Well, to the Green-eyed Monster a.k.a. Complexion Conflict and friend-
YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD!
More Friend's responses to come. Any comments for our Monster friend? Leave a comment! Here we go!
Posted on 2:44 PM by You Have Been TOLD and filed under
9-14-09 The Green-Eyed Monster
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I have a friend who is mixed. She's light with green eyes and long hair. Very pretty girl. Now I love her to death but she has gotten it in her head that black women give her dirty looks b/c she's light. Frankly, I'm tired of hearing it. I can give u several examples but will only give you two that stand out. This past Feb we went to an AKA social. All the AKAs were very nice and friendly. I got there first. When u walked in they would greet themselves and kiss u on the cheek. Extremely inviting. So my friend arrives and is there for about 15 mins until she starts going off about this darker skinned AKA supposedly giving her dirty looks. I didnt entertain her need for attention cuz I was having a good time. She was really like uh why is she looking at me like that , etc, etc. I just ignored her. That's example number 1
Example number 2 is from yesterday. She calls me at like 5 telling me she was watching the Tyra show. The show was about skin color (sigh). There was a dude on there about my complexion ( brown) saying to another dude ur a black roach. I immediately said to her I'm tired of talking about skin color issues cuz it makes black people look ignorant. She then starts to complain about how it so unfair that black women hate on her and give her dirty looks cuz she's light. I kinda went off and anyone who knows me knows that I'm very mild mannered. One, its extremely insulting to me as a black woman for you to come complaining about other black women to me. Two, it angered me all over again cuz ur calling me on my free minutes with bullshit. Yes, I know its kind of petty but knowing her for 2 years this is not the first time I have heard this mess. So to see if there is any legitimacy to her complaints I contact another friend of mine back home. She's another light skinned sista. I asked her if she felt that black women hate on her cuz she's light. She says no. If anything its just females being being females and my friend needs to get over herself.
Friends help me please. I'm at my wits end with this girl and her complaints about black women being against her. I told her that if you go looking for dirty looks thats what you will find. What else can I do?
thank you
You only have 2 years invested in this.I don't believe your friend will change anytime soon so I suggest you change your friend.Meaning, find someone else to pal around with.When you tell Complexion Conflict that you no longer want to associate with her, tell her why very clearly and concisely.You might also suggest that she get some professional help for her issue.
If you do not wish to end the relationship, let her know in no uncertain terms is she to try and discuss these color/female issues real or otherwise with you.
A.J.
Dear Green-Eyed Monster:
As a woman of mixed race-I have to tell you that the reason women give you dirty looks is because your simpleness seethes through your soul. If there is a group of women that are nice to everybody but YOU, it's probably NOT THEM unless they all have the power to read each other's thoughts. Honey-it's YOU. If all you can talk about is your skin color-chances are the only person that has a REAL problem with your skin color is YOU.
I have met more than one woman of mixed heritage who has a hard time relating to one or more side over the other. As a woman of mixed race-you probably HAVE been subjected to a different type of discrimination and racism. It's often hard to answer questions about WHY your parents got married, HOW they met, or HOW you came to be. It's also hard to have people treat you one way and then learn that you are a certain race and treat you differently. But honey-all of this happens way before you are about 16, so you have had ample time to let it go.
I am Korean and Black. I'm not any more Korean than I am black, but when people look at me-they see I am a woman of color. If you can't stand behind that proudly and wear it well-stop being threatened by the women that do. They don't care enough about YOU to care about what you look like, how pretty you are or aren't. It's what's inside of you that shines through. The only things we can recognize in other people are the things we recognize in ourselves. So these women don't hate you because you are a light skin sister. YOU HATE YOU. You are a woman of mixed race, and being a woman of color-you should definitely be a symbol of pride and strength. Stop trying to figure out why the rest of us don't care about you and using it as attention whore tactic, and figure out what it is that YOU love about YOU. If you can't-try to identify with your other side. There are plenty of strong-minded, beautiful, self-assured, independent, fabulous, amazing black woman. We'd only be losing 1/2-so no big loss. Do you.
And to the friend, Birds of a feather flock together...let this bird fly alone.
Moni
I have a saying “ if you want to find the angriest black person I the room, find the lightest one”. The reason your friend doesn’t like dark skinned girls is because when she was a kid they picked on her because “ she thought she was all that” and most likely all the boys did pick her over the darker women. She has a problem with them because she doesn’t like black women and in saying that she doesn’t like half of herself. Some people when they can’t deal with a thing they imagine that they are better than it, that way they don’t have to deal with it. Women are the cattiest things on earth and that always amazes me because there is an animal called a cat that doesn’t act las bad as some women do. Biracial people in general have an issue with one or more of the races they make up, because they sometimes are not fully accepted into them. It makes them always feel like an outsider. If you want to help your friend and remain friends with her you need to talk to her about her issue. The green eyed monster needs to be told if shes having the same problem with every dark skinned women she meets then the simple fact is , they don’t have a problem she does. Same goes for you skinny chicks talking about big girls, just cause you got dirt slammed by the husky chick in 3rd grade for popping shit., does not mean they hating on you.
Mr. Superstar
Well, to the Green-eyed Monster a.k.a. Complexion Conflict and friend-
YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD!
More Friend's responses to come. Any comments for our Monster friend? Leave a comment! Here we go!
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