The Friends' Inbox 10-7-09-House, Car, Kids...now you need a BRAIN!
From the Friends' Inbox 10-7-09:
The First Impact responses of the Friends:
Is this real? She can't be serious...I pray it isn't b/c I will go in hard on her. She is a broad with low self-esteem who thinks being #2 is where it's at!
Kina Go Lightly
um....yeah....yeah...wow....
Nappygal
And after they gathered their thoughts...The Friends' go IN!!
Kept woman,
For all of our comments there are no universal rules, and we are not 100% infallible. Well I am so close that the percentage that would be used to judge it would be so incredibly small that you would need to just round up.
Listen at the end of the day if you are happy that the father of your children provides for your children, I don't see that as a big accomplishment but as I always say if you like it I love it. But before I let you go let me break some facts down for you because I don't want this to come out like an opinion.
Per LA county Dissolution Of Marriage Laws (Divorce)
One of the policy goals for spousal support in California is to maintain the marital standard of living for as long as it takes the recipient to become self supporting. It ends on the death of either party or the remarriage of the supported party.
So that means that if he were to divorce her, she would not fall apart she would get half if not all of his house and yours. She would also get about half of his pay in spousal support. This is why Titles are important.
So where does this leave you and your children? Homeless because you have not legally protected their interests. Now when and if you file for support you will have to take that based on the amount he makes after she gets her cut.
Let me explain something to you as a man, the only reason he keeps up the appearance of love for you is for the sake of his pockets, and for the sake of his children. He does not love you, he loves what you provide for him. Time will teach you this, when the kids are grown, and you get older, let us see how much love he has for you then.
I have spoken, and you have been told!
Mr. Superstar
Wow! Did you seriously just write in to say you're happy to be hoein'? That you just wanted us to know that you're getting paid for your skeeziness? You have a house, a car, and a part time man/father, and that's good enough for you? That's really ALL you want out of life? That's really all you think you're worth? At first I thought you were just going to speak on how shady some guys are and say that you, as the other woman, had also been deceived and didn't know he was married. Instead, you are here defending your right to be a hoe? I'm sorry that nobody in your life took time to teach you the true worth of a woman. And that he won't let HIS kids call him Dad is okay with you? I would go into the many levels you are wrong on for this statement alone, but you are probably too stupid (and yes, stupid is what I mean) to understand so I won't waste the words. I'm sorry that you have no self-respect, no pride, and no sense, but I am happy for you and your car!
And you're wrong. You do have a title. It'd just be unladylike for me to tell you exactly what it is.
She
Um....hmmmm.
There are really not too many occasions that I am at a loss for words to paint a picture. So, I looked in the Thesaurus under Simple Ass Trick, but it did not register. I had maybe also thought I'd be able to put a face to a title.
So, let me stick to your points. I stand corrected-you are NOT free. What you are is a high priced, no moral having, self esteem exempt, less than clueless, one chromosone away from retarded- prostitute! First of all, you are not in a RELATIONSHIP with a married ass man. You are in an agreement. You agree to be stupid, he agrees to treat you as such. What kind of MAN denies his children? I have to assume that you got implanted with those eggs on purpose. So in this case, I blame him for being dumb enough to dump load in a high priced sperm receptacle. I REALLY want to know what happens when you explain to your kids that they don't have a dad, because the price was right on the house and the car.
I can not STAND a woman that does not do for herself, cannot do for herself, and doesn't add a THING to the man she is supposed to be with. You do not work? So when this man gets an inkling to ditch you, and YOUR kids...what the hell are you going to do to take care of your kids? If you would, I'd like you to send in your address so that I can send you a dollar to buy a PIECE of self esteem. I'll sleep easier knowing you have at least $1 of self worth.
There's not doubt that you are simple, but even so-nobody deserves to be treated the way you are allowing yourself to be treated. I really don't have much to say to you. I hope that your children are nurtured with more love than YOU have for YOU. Just because your body was capable of pushing a baby out, damn sure doesn't mean you are capable of being a mother. The best thing that could happen is that his damn wife snatches your kids up and gives them the love they need with the lifestyle they've been accustomed to. Maybe then you would find the will to be somebody to YOU. And don't be so jaded to think that his wife doesn't know a thing about you-you just ain't bother ing her and I doubt she gives less than half a damn! I don't hand out the term Simple Ass Trick lightly, but you deserve it more than most. And sweetheart, you DO need a title. You need a title to that HOUSE, you need a title for that CAR, and I hope you are smart enough to have the FATHER title filled in on the BIRTH CERTIFICATES. Cause when the day comes that you need them, the person that is ENTITLED to all those TITLES WILL take your shyt!! Amusing how you believe the line that his wife will fall apart. No honey, but she will proceed to rip YOU apart.
To the childless father of two...CHECKMATE. Play on playa! I have my own house, my own car, even my own kid-but if you want to come pay some bills this way-I don't mind!! Just kidding S.A.T., don't get all upset. This man can't do a THING for me, because based on his behavior-he doesn't have enough money for what I'm worth. LEARN THAT!!
Moni
Excuse me cum-dumpster if I don’t think having a sponsor for your ho-ishness is a mark of achievement. You have a 'man' that makes kids, and tells you why he won't claim them... and you're okay with that somehow. Please explain to me why this is okay. Already I think less of HIM because the fact that you've had an ongoing relationship with him for 6 years while he's married means he's not man enough to be decisive about an important life issue. The fact that he can cheat on her for 6 years without telling her means he's a secret-keeper... meaning there's likely large sections of his life that you know absolutely NOTHING about. But that's okay, cuz he's content with picking up the car/house note for the time being. At least until he finds a way to make the whole thing cheaper. Don't be surprised to have the bank calling to foreclose on that ass one day when he decides to move to Mexico or something. Then the wife gets that shit... ALL that shit. And what do you get? Probably some scabby knees, chapped lips, and an itch that won't go away.
Metaphyzxx
Honestly, all of the Friends' had to take a breath before speaking on this one. There is no further comment. To Brainless in LA...
Readers? We have nothing else to say. We are STILL shaking our heads! Some of the Friends' might even still reply, but we HAD to get this up for our audience. We bet you have some comments today!!
Posted on 4:27 PM by You Have Been TOLD and filed under
10-7-09 House,
Car,
Kids-NO BRAIN
| 16 Comments »
Regarding your comments that the other woman is so wrong and FREE I have to tell you that isn't always the case. I have been in a relationship with a married man for 6 years. We have two children together and his wife has no idea. He is a very well paid professional man and he takes very good care of me and my kids. I don't even work. His wife is unable to have children but he doesn't want to leave her because he is scared she will fall apart. I might not get to spend a lot of time with him, but she doesnt either because he travels all the time. The only thing I had a problem with in the beginning is that he did not want my children to call him Dad because he doesn't want to be tied to them professionally but he treats them better than any dead beat dad could and he gives them anything they want. So, you are wrong. I live a good life I drive a nice car and my children and I are well cared for. I don't care what him and his wife do, I know he does for me and I know he loves me. I don't need a title, I have the house, the car, and the kids.
The First Impact responses of the Friends:
Is this real? She can't be serious...I pray it isn't b/c I will go in hard on her. She is a broad with low self-esteem who thinks being #2 is where it's at!
Kina Go Lightly
um....yeah....yeah...wow....
Nappygal
And after they gathered their thoughts...The Friends' go IN!!
Kept woman,
For all of our comments there are no universal rules, and we are not 100% infallible. Well I am so close that the percentage that would be used to judge it would be so incredibly small that you would need to just round up.
Listen at the end of the day if you are happy that the father of your children provides for your children, I don't see that as a big accomplishment but as I always say if you like it I love it. But before I let you go let me break some facts down for you because I don't want this to come out like an opinion.
Per LA county Dissolution Of Marriage Laws (Divorce)
One of the policy goals for spousal support in California is to maintain the marital standard of living for as long as it takes the recipient to become self supporting. It ends on the death of either party or the remarriage of the supported party.
So that means that if he were to divorce her, she would not fall apart she would get half if not all of his house and yours. She would also get about half of his pay in spousal support. This is why Titles are important.
So where does this leave you and your children? Homeless because you have not legally protected their interests. Now when and if you file for support you will have to take that based on the amount he makes after she gets her cut.
Let me explain something to you as a man, the only reason he keeps up the appearance of love for you is for the sake of his pockets, and for the sake of his children. He does not love you, he loves what you provide for him. Time will teach you this, when the kids are grown, and you get older, let us see how much love he has for you then.
I have spoken, and you have been told!
Mr. Superstar
Wow! Did you seriously just write in to say you're happy to be hoein'? That you just wanted us to know that you're getting paid for your skeeziness? You have a house, a car, and a part time man/father, and that's good enough for you? That's really ALL you want out of life? That's really all you think you're worth? At first I thought you were just going to speak on how shady some guys are and say that you, as the other woman, had also been deceived and didn't know he was married. Instead, you are here defending your right to be a hoe? I'm sorry that nobody in your life took time to teach you the true worth of a woman. And that he won't let HIS kids call him Dad is okay with you? I would go into the many levels you are wrong on for this statement alone, but you are probably too stupid (and yes, stupid is what I mean) to understand so I won't waste the words. I'm sorry that you have no self-respect, no pride, and no sense, but I am happy for you and your car!
And you're wrong. You do have a title. It'd just be unladylike for me to tell you exactly what it is.
She
Um....hmmmm.
There are really not too many occasions that I am at a loss for words to paint a picture. So, I looked in the Thesaurus under Simple Ass Trick, but it did not register. I had maybe also thought I'd be able to put a face to a title.
So, let me stick to your points. I stand corrected-you are NOT free. What you are is a high priced, no moral having, self esteem exempt, less than clueless, one chromosone away from retarded- prostitute! First of all, you are not in a RELATIONSHIP with a married ass man. You are in an agreement. You agree to be stupid, he agrees to treat you as such. What kind of MAN denies his children? I have to assume that you got implanted with those eggs on purpose. So in this case, I blame him for being dumb enough to dump load in a high priced sperm receptacle. I REALLY want to know what happens when you explain to your kids that they don't have a dad, because the price was right on the house and the car.
I can not STAND a woman that does not do for herself, cannot do for herself, and doesn't add a THING to the man she is supposed to be with. You do not work? So when this man gets an inkling to ditch you, and YOUR kids...what the hell are you going to do to take care of your kids? If you would, I'd like you to send in your address so that I can send you a dollar to buy a PIECE of self esteem. I'll sleep easier knowing you have at least $1 of self worth.
There's not doubt that you are simple, but even so-nobody deserves to be treated the way you are allowing yourself to be treated. I really don't have much to say to you. I hope that your children are nurtured with more love than YOU have for YOU. Just because your body was capable of pushing a baby out, damn sure doesn't mean you are capable of being a mother. The best thing that could happen is that his damn wife snatches your kids up and gives them the love they need with the lifestyle they've been accustomed to. Maybe then you would find the will to be somebody to YOU. And don't be so jaded to think that his wife doesn't know a thing about you-you just ain't bother ing her and I doubt she gives less than half a damn! I don't hand out the term Simple Ass Trick lightly, but you deserve it more than most. And sweetheart, you DO need a title. You need a title to that HOUSE, you need a title for that CAR, and I hope you are smart enough to have the FATHER title filled in on the BIRTH CERTIFICATES. Cause when the day comes that you need them, the person that is ENTITLED to all those TITLES WILL take your shyt!! Amusing how you believe the line that his wife will fall apart. No honey, but she will proceed to rip YOU apart.
To the childless father of two...CHECKMATE. Play on playa! I have my own house, my own car, even my own kid-but if you want to come pay some bills this way-I don't mind!! Just kidding S.A.T., don't get all upset. This man can't do a THING for me, because based on his behavior-he doesn't have enough money for what I'm worth. LEARN THAT!!
Moni
Excuse me cum-dumpster if I don’t think having a sponsor for your ho-ishness is a mark of achievement. You have a 'man' that makes kids, and tells you why he won't claim them... and you're okay with that somehow. Please explain to me why this is okay. Already I think less of HIM because the fact that you've had an ongoing relationship with him for 6 years while he's married means he's not man enough to be decisive about an important life issue. The fact that he can cheat on her for 6 years without telling her means he's a secret-keeper... meaning there's likely large sections of his life that you know absolutely NOTHING about. But that's okay, cuz he's content with picking up the car/house note for the time being. At least until he finds a way to make the whole thing cheaper. Don't be surprised to have the bank calling to foreclose on that ass one day when he decides to move to Mexico or something. Then the wife gets that shit... ALL that shit. And what do you get? Probably some scabby knees, chapped lips, and an itch that won't go away.
Metaphyzxx
Honestly, all of the Friends' had to take a breath before speaking on this one. There is no further comment. To Brainless in LA...
YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD!
Readers? We have nothing else to say. We are STILL shaking our heads! Some of the Friends' might even still reply, but we HAD to get this up for our audience. We bet you have some comments today!!
Posts
16 comments:
Off the meter! This is 10x more ignorant than any Strawberry Letter on Steve Harvey.
So to recap...you have a house, a car, money & other superficial amenities (which you could get on your own), all from a man who is married to somebody else and you brag about this situation as if this is something to be proud of???
Clearly you have no respect for yourself, but at least have some respect for your kids, damnit. You have somebody coming over who doesn't want them to call him "dad." What's that about?
Co-sign to Mr. Superstar re legal titles. You are what folks refer to as "hood rich." You think you've won something, but you and your kids have really lost. Sad thing is, you don't even know it.
Oh and by the way, this "man" doesn't love you, you're just convenient.
Get off your ass, go to church, get a job, get your own man, and get your kids a better role model.
keepin it one hunid,
The Janitor
I did not submit my statement to your blog as a plea for your advice or opinions. Ive heard this all before. I have some rights Im not totally stupid. This is the same response I get from people that dont live in a house in the hills, dont drive a luxury car, and dont have to worry about a thing because my bank account is fat. You all have so much to say probably because your broke, struggling, and lonely. I enjoy reading your website, but you dont know all the answers.
First of all:
@MrSuperstar-so on point, and regarding your first sentence :-/
Gosh I love the friends, and the Janitor fits right in, yes??
To Ms. KK-I just can't. I can't...but I'm not broke, I'm not lonely-and the ONLY thing I seem to really be struggling with is YOU.
We had some submissions to the inbox today-but I'm going to go ahead and let the Friend's help you some more...
One more thing:
@ The Janitor...that is not called hood RICH, I think you meant HOODRAT...maybe just the sophisticated kind, like Ratatouille.
DEAD @ The Janitor "Go to Church".
YES Sweetheart, You actually DO NEED JESUS!!
CUM DUMPSTER---Priceless!
What can I say? You're right. I'm only hating on you because my own house, car, education, relationship, and self respect just aren't enough. That's gotta be it.
She
TEGO @ Cum Dumpster:
We may not have the "house on the hill, luxury car...etc" or all the answers but what we DO have are what normal humans like to call MORALS! That boat left your soul the moment you got with this married man. Way to set a good example for your kids! One day they will see you for who you really are......and I'll be enjoying that Springer episode, watching my NON-LUXURIOUS 50" TV, sitting in my NON-LUXURIOUS home that's paid for by mine AND MY WIFE'S hard earned money!
~P.S.- GET A JOB!
KK, you say you didn't submit your statement to this blog as a plea for advice or opinions...what exactly, my dear,were you expecting? Did you really expect people to not speak on your foolishness? Sweetie you have proven you are definitely not the sharpest knife in the drawer. That is all.
"I have some rights Im not totally stupid."
ehhhh, the jury's still out about the latter part of this statement, but as far as your rights, Mr. Superstar is correct - you have none. In most states (and CA is likely no different) the courts impose an automatic presumption that any kids produced by a marriage are the offspring of the two married people, and any children born out of wedlock, to the contrary, are not. Thus, you get no claim over his assets other than what he has given you, which for somebody with no ambitions of their own, seems to be enough to give you the audacity to actually look down your nose at others who you think are beneath you. Nobody here is beneath you due to the fact that they have a little thing called morals. Google it.
So only people with money can make a valid argument to you? So if I'm broke, what you're doing is ok, but if I'm rich what you're doing is not ok? What kinda sense does that make?
Since you only seem to speak in superficial terms - you have a house in the hills, I have a doorman highrise in Manhattan 1 floor below the Governor of the state of New York.
You have a luxury car, I BEEN driving a luxury car for years. (we off that)
Your bank account is fat? That's cute. My bank account, 401k (something you would have if you had a job), Roth IRA (see 401k), and stock portfolio are all, as you would say, "fat" and guess what? I didn't have to get them from sleeping with somebody else's spouse.
And I'll take the Pepsi challenge of my salary against your allowance any day of the week.
So since I have "luxurious" stuff I guess that turns your entire argument on its head doesn't it?
Your kids deserve better. It's not too late for you. Do right by them.
cleaning up messes coast to coast,
The Janitor
Dear KytKat,
Thank you for responding , I think you are the first to do so. Why did you send our blog your email, if it was not for advice or to elicit a response? Where you bragging about the position you are in?Is it to offer an example for other women to follow?
I chose not to reply to your email, because I didn't feel that it was worth it. I have personally known women who have found themselves in this position and they are pretty much set in their frame of mind. I also got that impression from the tone of your email.
I was not interested in judging you or having you see the error of your ways.If you don't feel that you and your children deserve more, than neither do I. What you eat don't make me...
I hope that your "bank account is fat" enough to cover health insurance,tuition, mortgage long term heath care,etcetera for yourself and your children. Being a mistress does not offer a pension plan.Because at the end of the day, you have to make sure that you and your children are protected. Talk to your boyfriend about making legal preparations for you and the children. Who wants things to get messy if he dies or becomes disabled?
Also be prepared to have your children think less of you as a person because of your choices.Sins of the mother and father.The children are who I really feel for, because they did not ask to be brought into this situation. I hope that pool makes them feel better when Daddy is with his real familiy during the important events in their life.
Best Wishes,
AJ
P.S. Your response to our blog reeks of insecurity.
KytKat,
Words hurt don't they
I purposely didn't call you a cum dumpster stupid trap hoe, because I knew that if I did your response would be the normal "yall broke and mad that I have money" rant. I have dealt with your kind before, and every mistress, stripper and person who replaces THINGS with actual Love suffers the same problem that you do. Your story is not unique, just ask the chick that killed Steve Mcnair. I can 100% guarantee that no one here is jealous of you. I am personally happy for you because as a republican, I am damn glad someone else is taking care of your lazy ass without you becoming a burden on tax dollars.
You should really watch your tone when talking to your intellectual betters. I come from the school of, If YOU make a Comment/Point you should be prepared to debate it or to explain where you are coming from. But you bragged about your situation, and when you got spanked you reacted the way you did because intellectually and emotionally you're still a child.
I don't give advice and have so much to say because I am broke, struggling and lonely. I am at the TOP of the VOIP industry, I make things move at the company I work for. I am a happy newlywed, with No kids and no plans to have any. I personally could give a fuck if you and your kids and their dad died in a horrific fiery crash, I say that and mean it fully. The only reason I would care is if it delayed me from getting to where I was going at the time. I do this as a hobby.
You stated your children can't even call their father daddy, that is so sad because they are the ones that suffer. You might not think so now because your children are young. But being a kid of a single mom with an absent father is hard. No matter what you think they will feel unwanted by their dad no matter how many toys they have, or vacations you take with them on. Kids are not for the most part superficial like that. Two things I am going to leave you with then I am done, the first is "Anything free is worth what you pay for it". The last is "There Aint No such thing as a Free Lunch". Figure those 2 things out, I will pray for your children
Hmmm...No response from KK today?
Listen chick, I don't need to go in on you like The Janitor and Mr. Superstar did about how I am certainly qualified to give my opinion on your situation. Regardless of how many degrees I have, what my portfolio looks like, what kind of house I live in...you will never understand the thing that I have that you don't-SELF WORTH. I didn't get that in college or on the job...if you don't know where to find it, there is no hope for you.
If you have a daughter, you are showing her that as long as somebody does nice things for her, she should be okay with being second best. Then be thankful for women like me who do what I can, share what I need to, and work my ass off to make sure these little girls know they have a voice and a path.
If you have a son, you are showing him that women don't deserve to be respected. Then be thankful AGAIN for women like me who COMMAND RESPECT and show men like this that although they are in fact misinformed, they are still capable of loving and being loved.
I'm not going to hell for your salvation-so if you are content-so be it. You don't understand where we are coming from, I don't understand simple-ass mindedness so let's call it even.
I hope you all have enjoyed trying to rip me apart, but I am too busy being RICH to care about what you think. I have rights. I have a legal agreement for all my things. Like I said, you dont understand it and you are wrong. Congradulations to all of you for being so educated and hardworking, if you were gorgous like me-you might have someone to take care of you too. Like my mother used to say, ugly girls go to school pretty girls get tanned by the pool. Off to the pool I go.
I do enjoy reading your website most of the time and you can thank me for bringing some reading to it-and mr. superstar-good advice today but not so much with me and i didnt ask for it anyhow. why dont you all send me your addresses and ill send you some money for a facial or something.
KK, let it go. Nobody here gives a flying fu** about you being "rich", yet you keep throwing it out there. Is that really the most important thing in your world? Money may buy a lot of things but self respect isn't one of them. Your defensiveness here speaks volumes about you. You, my dear, are a loser and until you change your mindset and start to have some respect for yourself and your children, you will continue to be a loser no matter how fat your bank account is. Oh, and how about a spell check next time you try to attempt a comeback? It's "congratulations" instead of "congradulations" and "gorgeous" instead of "gorgous". Surely someone as fabulous as you should be able to spell simple words correctly...(insert eye roll here)
Let me tell you what the whole world has been doing: Laughing at you because you are a joke.
Now with this little reply the world wants to evict you. I think this is really Kim Zolciak from RHOA. That's the only person who is that touched in the head and would let their mistress status go to your head. And why does everything go back to material items or proving that you have it just as good as his wife?
Your whole little "question/reply" reeks of you trying to convince yourself that your situation is ok. You proved it by making the comment you did in response to the answers you received. Were you so secure and happy, a. you wouldn't have written in and b. you would not have been so bothered by the responses where you felt the need to reply. If you cannot handle feedback and opinions, don't ask for it. Nobody is jealous or bitter of what you purportedly have which is nothing. You have absolutely nothing. He's never leaving his wife for you or your children as you have proven that you will lay down and take whatever just for a piece of a man and you are a well paid prostitute, not a permanent fixture. What kind of example are you setting for your children? And fyi you own nothing and have the rights to nothing. Even if you say he purchased xyz for you in your name, don't be so naive. He has his name on that stuff and it's his. It's just an investment/something to make you shut up. So when you age and fall off and he is on to the next, you will be left with only a child support check.
In closing, there is nothing desirable or envious about you and your situation. As somebody who is educated, doing well and has a REAL relationship, I have nothing to admire you for. Do better, want better and more. if not for yourself, for your children.
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